"Why Do You Hate America? Is It The Freedom?"
My neighbor, who, despite the fact that he has W stickers plastered on all of his vehicles, is a really nice guy, replaced his old, worn, tattered, faded flag about a month ago. I was sorry to see it go, as I really like the look of an old flag...it seems so evocative of the inspiring early days of our country. I noticed the new flag one bright, sunny morning, and was about to just go about with my daily business, when something made me do a double-take. The new flag seemed to have some kind of junk or debris on it. For one or two seconds I was puzzling over what the hell it was, then a timely breeze unfurled the new, improved Old Glory. WTF?!?, I thought. I was appalled. You're not supposed to write on the flag!!!
How insane have things gotten when we have to resort to desecrating the flag in order to prove how patriotic we are? What's next, corporate sponsorships emblazened across the Stars and Stripes? "Your right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, brought to you by Chili's and Home Depot; you can enjoy your freedom, we can help."
If I throw up in disgust at the idea that now a citizen's love for his/her country can no longer be assumed, but must be proven by ever more gaudy expressions, and then use a tattered old flag to clean up the patriotic bile I have discharged, does that earn me the title "Most Patriotic Insignificant Citizen In Fly-Over Land"? ...Or should I trade it all for what's behind Door Number 3? Nah...it would probably be that damn goat again. I don't want to go throught all the trouble of dressing up like a giant taco, only to make the wrong decision and look like an idiot...ok, I've got to turn off the reruns of Let's Make A Deal and focus.
Now I've lost my momentum, so let me just sum up by saying if you want to be patriotic, join the services and go desecrate some other nation's flags. Don't tread on me!
p.s. I'll look into the popups...eventually. Until then, just try to realise that popups are the internet's way of saying it loves you.
posted by Isaac Carmichael at
2:01 AM
10 Comments:
Thanks for the picture help, sweetie!
By
Isaac Carmichael, at Sat Jul 30, 02:01:00 AM 2005
No prob.
That is the ugliest g'damn flag I have ever laid eyes on! Looks like something my dad might own.
By
Sylvana, at Sat Jul 30, 05:33:00 PM 2005
Amen! I refuse to have a magnet stuck on my car or a ribbon tied to my antenna or any of that other nonsense. Patriotism is out of control these days. Our troops don't give a shit if we buy a magnet or wave a tacky flag. If you're really in support of this war, go over there and fight alongside all the troops you "support".
By
Maria, at Sat Jul 30, 08:27:00 PM 2005
yeah, how about we support our troops, by, I dunno...ENDING THE WAR AND BRINGING THEM HOME??? that would be the kind of support they need.
that flag is ugly.
By
evilsciencechick, at Sat Jul 30, 09:48:00 PM 2005
I just don't get it. I'm with you SSB...Do I not love my country because I refuse to give in to such hypernationalistic displays?
By
Shannon, at Sun Jul 31, 01:05:00 PM 2005
Please: Just tell me that the flag was made in China. That would make it just too-perfect.
By
Grace Nearing, at Sun Jul 31, 10:32:00 PM 2005
i would go knock on his door and tell him that i find it offensive. and how did he get rid of his other flag? arent you supposed to burn them when you want to get a new one???
By
Randi@SowderingAbout, at Mon Aug 01, 01:03:00 PM 2005
Bob, the popups seem to be gone. I think someone else said it was b/c you were using a survey on the side that was doing it. Anyway, that flag is so tacky!!!
By
ORF, at Mon Aug 01, 01:47:00 PM 2005
I always thought setting yourself on fire like one of those Vietnamese monks was the best way to show patriotism. But it's hard to sing the Star Spangled Banner while you're burning up.
By
Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Wed Aug 03, 06:49:00 AM 2005
I'm back with a new name and blog. I'll link you.
By
Anonymous, at Sat Aug 06, 07:54:00 PM 2005
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