"In The Wild, They Would Never Experience Boredom, Obesity, Loss Of Purpose...You Know, The American Dream."

Oh my god, I have been so sick this week, so please bear with me here. I'm thinking it's the bird flu, so tomorrow I will get my fill not only of turkey, but of sweet vengence as well. That's right Mr. Turkey...it's Thanksgiving, and this time it's personal. I have had such trouble getting any quality sleep the past few days that I long for the release that tryptophan will bring me. I know I'm rambling and switching subjects mid-paragraph and such, this post is brought to you by the nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so you can get a couple hours of fitful unpleasant sleep medicine. This article is funny and I can't do it justice right now, except to say that I laugh at the people who paid good money for a first class plane ticket on a cross country flight only to sit next to a couple of loud and smelly turkeys, and if there is a God, those first class passengers will all have allergies and ties to PETA.