It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Saturday, April 02, 2005

"You Know It's Going To Be Bad, But You Just Can't Prepare Yourself."

Oh boy, here we go we're fighting over where to bury Terri. I just wonder how many exhumations her corpse will have to endure. Why not just mummify her and put her in a traveling show? I think Barnum and Bailey have winter headquarters down in Florida. They could cart her around the south and charge two bits a gander.

Oooh, maybe she could be in Epcot Center. They've had trouble getting visitors lately..."In the world of tomorrow, scientists will have found a way to keep your barely animated psuedo-corpse brain stem functioning at bare minimum levels into perpetuity." Wow, what an age we live in. But I personally think that the future The Matrix depicted would have lost a lot of its' intrigue if protesters had been in the movie saying, "Sure, they're basically shells of human beings, kept alive by machines, unable to think or act for themselves, but who are we to say that that's not an enriching, fulfilling life?"

They were "reporting" on Fox News that Terri had slipped into her "condition" (not PVS...Fox News, you never disappoint) because she suffered a heart attack due to a chemical imbalance....failing to mention the fact that the reason for the chemical imbalance was her severe case of bulemia. Oh, I forgot, we can't criticize her because the Republicans have now claimed her as their own. If you pull the plug, the t'rrists (that's terrorists, for those of you who actually have a rudimentary grasp on the English language) win. At least she's brain dead... what's your excuse for voting for W?

I was wondering, given the incredible overreaction in this country regarding this Terri lady, what the reaction would be if the pope slipped into one of these PVS's for 15 years or so? Italy would be fucked, that's for sure. But every Easter and Christmas they could roll him out so the crowd could see him, his head wobbling majestically, mouth agape, eyes glazed inspirational. And what's your view on gay marriage, Your Holiness? Ahh, he blinked...that means he's agin' it. And who knows more about marriage than a celibate Italian weirdo. I'm sorry, that wasn't fair...he's Polish.

And if the pope really trusts in God so much, what's the deal with the bullet-proof Popemobile? I'm just saying that Jesus didn't have a Jesus-mobile, that's all. Although, I suppose he probably could have used one.


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