"Self-tapping Shoes?!?...I'm Ever So Pissed!"

Once again, my original quote was just a bit too long to be the title. I've been told that they can be unweildy, if that is indeed a word. And if I did indeed spell it correctly.

So I was watching my Favorite Show today, and it was the one where Lisa goes to ballet school and discovers she is less than talented. Lisa's experience with her school and, more specifically, her teacher, reminded me of when I had a child in a dance class. This was one of those schools in a strip mall in a fairly well-to-do suburb, and was constantly packed with your run of the mill suburban moms, in overpriced clothes that are supposed to look like casual, I-don't-care-what-I'm-wearing-clothes, with all their little darlings who are just too precious to expend any discipline upon. And, I swear to God, everyone there was just too important to have to move even one inch to give you a little room to squeeze past them as you try to get out of that brat factory, and so you inevitably have to brush against them to get past, when they would invariably give you the stink-eye....beeotches!

Anyway, at this school, they spend about three months or so for each class, with each class culminating in a dance recital for all of the parents...which they had to pay to see! And, on top of that, the instructors were ladies who obviously at one time had the dream of being professionals, but, sadly, that time had long since passed. So, of course, these recitals were less for the children, and more to let everyone in the audience know what a big mistake the dancing talent scouts had made in passing them up. The children, in most cases, were pretty much obscured from the view of the audience. Oh my God, it was truly shameless.

And each recital we went to brought this 'Little Vicki' episode to mind...especially this Simpsons quote, in which Little Vicki explains to Lisa why she (Lisa) can't go out on stage, and which was supposed to be the title, but, of course, for the reason stated above, wasn't: "I'm sorry, Lisa, but people coming to see a children's dance recital expect a certain level of professionalism."

Of course, I expected a certain sad desperation, but...why argue over semantics.