It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

"Look At All Those Non-Skybox Losers Down There Watching Hockey Without Sushi *pfff*-If You Can Call That Hockey."

Well, on Wednesday, the Carolina Hurricanes are poised to win the Stanley Cup if they can defeat the Edmonton Oilers just one more time. Lord Stanley, I presume, is spinning in his grave. The last time a team from the South took home the Cup, you'll remember, they canceled the next season. Two Cups in a row? I think that signals the Apocolypse...

The real tragedy here is that the Hurricanes used to be the Hartford Whalers, one of those special small market teams that I just couldn't help but root for (Aside.... my favorite line in my least favorite Kevin Smith movie: "If I want to call the Hartford Whalers a bunch of fairies in the privacy of my own living room, that's my own damn business!"). Now they're just another lame southern franchise backed by fair weather fans that can't understand what the two-line passing rule was or how the game changed when they got rid of it. Makes me sick just thinking of it!

If you caught Game 4 on Monday, you saw the game open with a beautiful rendition of both countries national anthems (and you noticed that many Canadians knew the words to The Star Spangled Banner...how many of you Yankees can belt out Oh Canada!?) I, of course, teared up like a little girl as I sang along to them. I don't know why, but that stuff always gets to me. Luckily, the Oilers supplied plenty of violence as the first period opened to get the old testosterone flowing again. But then they went on to lose, the no-good bastards! Arrgh, if only Dwayne Roloson (formerly of the Wild) hadn't been injured in Game 1...

I know the World Cup is going on right now, but I'd urge everyone to catch the Stanley Cup while you still can. I have it on good authority that large sheets of ice will be hard to come by in the coming decades.

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