It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Friday, May 27, 2005

"By The Way, Thank You For Not Making Fun Of My Genitals."

What is it about warm weather that makes it so hard to post on a regular basis? I'm also trying to work on a book, which is slow going lately too. I'm hoping that by mentioning that on the blogosphere, that will make it harder to put off for "later". But, probably not...oh well.

Anyways, here's the part of the post that relates to the title, which was rather a titillating one, no?

Small-genitaled men finally have someone to focus all the blame and recriminations and deep down anger upon...their mothers. Researchers at the University of Rochester (that's the city where the Mayo Clinic is) have completed a study that shows that "boys are far more likely to have smaller, less-developed genitals if their mothers had high levels of chemicals commonly found in cosmetics, detergents, medicines and plastics", according to Knight-Ridder. I can't even think of four things that most American women would be more exposed to than these things. Let's see...chocolate, that could be one. Ummm...air, I suppose. Little magnetic ribbons and those lame rubber wrist bands that are so popular with the kids these days. That's about all I can think of.

Apparently, rats with this condition run a higher than average risk of testicular cancer. But the FDA says it "does not have compelling evidence" that the chemicals (called phthalates) in cosmetics pose a safety or health risk. I'm sure phthalates are nowhere near as dangerous as gay sperm, but still...wiener (this is an acceptable variation of 'weiner', so don't even try to tell me it's mispelled) size is at stake. You'd think the dudes at the FDA would be all over this one. This could be the biggest blow to the porn industry (yeah, that's right, I went there) since the Viagra drought of '02.

Hmmmm...smaller penises in our country since women have been exposed to phthalates (since at least 1980)...maybe that explains why everyone in our fair country is suddenly obsessed with owning a Hummer.


Post a Comment

<< Home