It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Thursday, May 05, 2005

¡Hola!... ¿Que Es El Dealeo?

Well, it's Cinco de Mayo, and I'm ashamed to say I have no idea what significance that date has (Is it for when Mexico won its' independence from Luxembourg?). I suppose that just makes me an average American. Why is it that with every holiday or special event that originated in a country other White Bread America (St. Patrick's Day, Octoberfest, Cinco de Mayo, etc.), instead of taking the opportunity to learn about the culture from whence it came, we just drink profusely? I mean, come on, how many people celebrating in New Orleans on Mardi Gras are off to church for Ash Wednesday? Umm, approximately none. It's just an excuse to drink and a license to be a jackass. If we're going to, say, drink green beer on St. Patty's Day, we should also be obliged to do the other things that they do to celebrate over in Ireland, like, uh...drink...ok, Ireland's a bad example.

How about the ultimate non-holiday, New Year's Eve? What special significance is there to a day chosen seemingly at random to be the end of one solar cycle? None, but what the hell, let's drink up! Society in general seems to back up the idea that it's acceptable, even encouragable (word? yes? no?), to go nuts and get drunk at these times. But why the pretense? Why not just say, "I feel like getting wasted today," without dragging a medium size yellow star or a saint's good name into it?

Now, no teatotaler am I, back in the day I was known to hoist (more than) a few. But, I don't know, it seems kind of insensitive (and, alas, American) to sully the celebrations of other cultures with our insatiable thirst for partying. We're the role model the third-world is supposed to be looking up to...what kind of example are we setting?

And I've noticed, more than a few times, we've lashed out violently when things aren't going our way. We've racked up quite a tab lately, and we've had some money problems...and those enablers United Kingdom and Australia have been egging us on the whole way. It's nothing but trouble when we get together. And we're not above back-handing our bitch Canada if she dares voice an opinion different than ours. Europe tried an intervention a while back, but we just threw chairs around the room and hollered at them, insinuating that they just couldn't handle us because we were too real.

It will take a lot of courage, but I think it's time we swallow our pride, look the rest of the world square in the eye, and say, "Hello. My name is America, and I have a problem..."

16 Comments:

  • Eh, I don't think we're the only ones. Look at Italy! They've got a saint's day, like, every week! and you don't think they're sitting around being all respectful about it, do you? HELL NO! They crack open a bottle of wine or 12 and throw a party!

    And then there's the Mardi Gras equivalents in Venice and Brazil. New Orleans is a quilting circle compared to those celebrations.

    America gets a bad wrap, but don't let those other cultures bullshit you. They're just older and have more practice at cleaning themselves up the next day for church ;)

    By Blogger evilsciencechick, at Thu May 05, 07:28:00 PM 2005  

  • I have always liked the upside-down punctuation in Spanish. It lets you know how you should be reading something before you even start; unlike lousy English where you get to the end of a sentence just to find out it was a question all along.

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Thu May 05, 08:02:00 PM 2005  

  • The title of this post is very reminiscent of a phrase that a high school friend of mine (who took French) and I used to say to each other all the time. Quelle est la deal, yo?

    (Very sorry if I spelled that wrong. I took Spanish.)

    By Blogger Susie the Bear, at Thu May 05, 09:27:00 PM 2005  

  • ESC-sometimes Truth and Fairness must be sacrificed on the altar of "It gets in the way of me trying to be funny".

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Thu May 05, 09:31:00 PM 2005  

  • Hey, no WAY am I going to start throwing stones about spinning the story to make it funny. My blog would read like stereo instructions if it weren't for liberal doses of stretching, tweaking, and spinning. And I'm too much a sucker for the readership to stop now! ;)

    By Blogger evilsciencechick, at Thu May 05, 09:47:00 PM 2005  

  • I am celebrating Cinco de Mayo by watching slutty Spanish soaps on Telemundo, then watching "Three Amigos". Martin Short as "My Little Buttercup" is priceless.

    By Blogger Maria, at Fri May 06, 12:08:00 AM 2005  

  • Bob, you must have worked pretty hard to get those upside down punctuation marks. That is awesome. You deserve a beer for that.

    I forget what I wanted to say...oh, yeah. I HATE NEW YEAR'S!!!

    Worst. Holiday. Ever.

    By Blogger ORF, at Fri May 06, 10:44:00 AM 2005  

  • I actually celebrated Cinco de Mayo with real mexicans . Mmmmmm...Tamales!

    I agree with ESC. We are real puritans when it comes to partying for no real reason. For example, in Russia they celebrate two New Years- old and new. they changed the calendar, what, like a 150 years ago? Maybe they kept it as an excuse to get drunk.

    By Blogger Shannon, at Fri May 06, 10:54:00 AM 2005  

  • What else are you going to do in the friggin cold?! That's why we drink so much in Wisconsin.

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Fri May 06, 12:25:00 PM 2005  

  • You make some good points!

    Cheers to you!!! ::passing a beer in your direction::

    By Blogger Randi, at Fri May 06, 01:01:00 PM 2005  

  • Sylvana helped me find the upsidedown punctuation. I still can't figure out how to do an 'n' with a '~' over it.

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Fri May 06, 04:31:00 PM 2005  

  • Shannon- that remark seems ripe with innuendo...

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Fri May 06, 05:48:00 PM 2005  

  • New Year's Eve, aside from being one of the saddest excuses for a holiday ever (Labour Day, anyone), has given me one of the best examples about how Canada does not know how to party like the U.S.A. I was sitting around with a bunch of my friends, having a few brews, and decided to check out the CBC (that's the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation for those Stateside) as an alternative to Dick Clark's countdown.

    A host of famous Canadians counted down. "Five...four...three...two...one!" And then, for the big finale, do we have a giant crowd on Parliament Hill? Do we have fireworks? Do we have a celebratory extravaganza? No. We have Gordon Lightfood in a quiet room with an acoustic guitar, singing Auld Lang Syne.

    In Canada, we can't even celebrate FAKE holidays right. So you have nothing to worry about.

    By Blogger The Doc, at Sat May 07, 12:45:00 PM 2005  

  • I won't mention the hot sauce and the naked men and Brad Pitt then.

    By Blogger Shannon, at Sat May 07, 12:47:00 PM 2005  

  • LOL! Shannon, you crack me up!

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Sat May 07, 01:21:00 PM 2005  

  • I'm all about teetotaling!

    By Blogger "AG", at Sun May 08, 06:02:00 AM 2005  

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