It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

"Whoa, What Am I Smoking? Oh Yeah...Pot."

Happy 4/20 everybody! To answer your questions: No, I'm not a stoner, and yes, I have partaken in the much maligned vegetation. Marijuana is a much misunderstood, many splendored thing, evoking poorly thought out, knee-jerk reactions at its' very mention. Any serious debate on the subject is nearly impossible, with various unfounded suspicions bestowed upon those of us who would dare to argue for it's legalization, or at the very least it's decriminalization. The irrational "arguements" against it are like nothing ever seen in our country before...before 9/11. Now the "war on terror" has joined the "war on drugs" in the field of declaring wars on inanimate conceptions, wars with no real end-game to them. How does one win wars on these things? In a real war, such as WWII, this was a fairly easy question to answer; the unconditional surrender of the Axis Powers. Even the Cold War had end-game. But drugs certainly aren't going to surrender unconditionally to our government. Is it wise to start a war with no conceivable end to it?

I guess I wouldn't mind the illegalization of weed if only there was some sort of rationality to it. But I have yet to hear an arguement in support of outlawing marijuana that wouldn't also condemn either alcohol or tobacco to the same fate. And really, if the idea is to make society safer, then leagalizing marijuana and criminalizing alcohol would be the way to go. I think we tried making alcohol illegal did that work out again? Alcoholics often become violent and awkwardly sexual harrassing, potheads generally will eat a whole pizza by themselves and watch Half-Baked for the 75th time. Who's the bigger blight on society?

One arguement is that pot is a "gateway drug" and that it leads to harder drugs. Then wouldn't either (or both) alcohol and tobacco be the real gateway drugs? I know of no one who's smoked pot without trying at least one of these two. I do think that pot is a gateway drug in one brings those who try this ubiquitous and innocuous drug into the so-called black market society, where they are exposed to things which are much more dangerous to them (harder drugs, prostitution, gangs, etc.). I say innocuous because it is about as harmful as other, legal drugs which are accepted in society at large, and ubiquitous because it is referred (no pun intended) to countless times every day on radio and tv in a joking or lighthearted manner. Seriously, I could have chosen from scores of quotes to title this post. And, by the way, I am most impressed with myself, as I spelled ubiquitous and innocuous correctly on my first attempt.

Another arguement is that legalizing pot would be like saying the government is telling the children that it approves of smoking weed. Oh, so I suppose that means the government also approves of kids smoking and drinking too. They must, because alcohol and tobacco are legal. Smoke 'em if you got 'em, junior!

Another arguement is that smoking marijuana is bad for your health. Ditto smoking, drinking, eating fast food, etc. Marijuana kills brain do tobacco, alcohol and watching tv. I repeat, there is no arguement against pot that can't be applied to other, legal drugs. Come on, give me one. I dare you!

I could go on forever on this subject, and often do, because nothing pisses me off like double standards, especially ones that, when addressed, invariably end up with one side (mine) giving open minded and thoughtful debate (if I do say so myself), and the other side resorting to name calling, unwilling to listen to any arguement or reasoning. "Oh, you're just a stoner probably," they always say. "Oh, you're a complete ignoramus, but I'm still willing to present my arguement, if only you'd listen," I always reply.

I suppose there is something that pisses me off like double standards do, and that's these dumbass stoners who undermine the cause every time they open their mouths. The problem with the issue of pot, like it is with so many other issues (like sex, public education, underage drinking), isn't pot itself (or sex, public education, underage drinking), but stupid people. There are simply too many of them, drifting around without a thought in their head, unwilling or unable to examine who they are, what they stand for and why. They are the ones who should not be allowed to smoke pot, or drink, or even breed for that matter. They need to be isolated and studied, so it can be determined what nutrients we can extract from them for our use...but I digress.

And another thing, just because you've smoked pot, that doesn't make you stupid. Carl Sagan did, and that guy be hella-smart, even if he couldn't pronounce 'billions'. Why, even George W...ok, bad example, but the arguement still stands (sorry, I just couldn't help myself. He just makes it so damn easy).

P.S. What does 420 mean exactly? I've heard it refers (again, no pun intended) to police code, and I've heard it refers (ok, there, I intended that one) to a proposition regarding marijuana, and I'm sure there's some other theories I haven't heard of. Any clues?


  • I'd much rather pot be legal than smoking or drinking. (Even though I haven't tried any of the above.) When my mom had cancer, our hippy, Harley-riding neighbor came over and gave her a joint. He was teary-eyed and told her to smoke it if she got too nauseous from the chemo. It was so sweet to see a free-wheeling rebel give a Mormon housewife marijuana. I decided right then that pot should be legal for medicinal purposes.

    By Blogger Maria, at Wed Apr 20, 07:05:00 PM 2005  

  • Word up, my brotha. (Ok, I dont know why I typed that since I am a white girl from the South and everyone knows there are only honkies in Wisconsin so it's a pretty safe bet you're just a normal, white, midwestern guy, but whatever.) The point is, I agree.

    Impressive spelling on "innocuous" and "ubiquitous," but it's "argUment."

    Don't worry, your awesomeness wasn't lessened in my mind. (And that is saying a lot because I am a complete nutjob about spelling.)

    By Blogger ORF, at Thu Apr 21, 01:00:00 PM 2005  

  • D'oh! I am usually pretty nuts about spelling too. It really doesn't help your argUment, no matter how articulate, if your writing is peppered with spelling errors.
    And yes, your estimate of me is pretty much right on. Sigh...white male American. As Eddie Vedder said (I think), I won the lottery just by being born. As Homer Simpson said, "I'm a white male, age 25-44. Everybody listens to matter how dumb my ideas are!"

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Thu Apr 21, 04:01:00 PM 2005  

  • MaryJane is evil, but you can get piss drunk in public and they call it "Happy Hour". Hmmm.

    Off the topic, One of my favortite Homerisms is:
    "Ah snakes. Nature's slackers."

    By Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Sat Apr 23, 10:12:00 AM 2005  

  • My dad was/is an alcoholic and I would have much prefered that he reefered.

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Sat Apr 23, 11:45:00 AM 2005  

  • I'm not a fan of the doob personally, but if pot was legalized: (1) It could be taxed -- more revenues! Yay!, (2) Its quality could be regulated, and (3) It would lessen the overcrowding in prisons.

    My brother, your ally in this area, said that the prison guards' union is one of the major forces in keeping pot illegal. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it would make sense.

    By Blogger The Attractive Nuisance, at Sat Apr 23, 09:06:00 PM 2005  

  • Shamus, I love that quote, it's right up there with:
    "Ah, the Luftwaffe, the Washington Generals of the History Channel.

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Sun Apr 24, 11:44:00 AM 2005  

  • I'm a straight edge kind of gal.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Apr 24, 05:03:00 PM 2005  

  • Well, here's the thing: I think if there was a simple, no nonsense relatively instantaneous test for whether someone was stoned or not, you'd probably have a good case. But since there's no equivalent to the breathelizer test to determine if someone is stoned behind the wheel, then it's not gonna happen.

    By Blogger Johnny Virgil, at Fri May 06, 09:54:00 PM 2005  

  • 420 stands for the time a group of individuals who called themselves the Waldo's at San Rafael High School in 1971 would meet to smoke up. It was their way of talking about it in front of others without actually saying what they were doing. (Info courtesy of High Times)

    And no, I'm not a pot head. :) I went out to askjeeves for that one.

    By Blogger Alisa, at Sat May 07, 06:44:00 PM 2005  

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