It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

"Rap Music Encourages Violence, Boastfulness And The Disrespecting Of Hoes"

As I sat down to write this post, a few nagging questions kept bugging me: How is 'hoes' spelled? Is it 'hos'? Is there an apostrophe, as in 'ho's'? And is the quote above correct? It's from a new episode, and I can't find the quote anywhere online. Oh well, not important...

The subject of this post is Gwen Stefani. I really like her new song, "Holla Back Girl". (I think that's what it's called, I'm not too sure about the accuracy of anything I'm writing here,sorry). Except for that, "This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" part; that is lame. (Another nagging question: how come when white people rap it ends up sounding like Queen?)

I am all for empowerment of women, and it's a free country and all, but have you seen the way she's dressing lately? It's like her wardrobe is composed of the stuff that Paris Hilton rejects. (Ugh-I feel all dirty...I solemnly promise to never, NEVER mention that hose-beast again.) Anyway, the whole reason I liked Gwen is I thought "I'm Just A Girl" was such a brilliant song, and I would always laugh at guys who focused on how hot she was like a little inside joke between me and her. What happened, Gwen? I thought we had something good there!

I've finally given in an done some actual research (and, by the way, "Holla Back Girl" is the correct title) and some reviews called her new(ish) album Love, Angel, Music, Baby (L.A.M.B., it'n it cute?) "trashy [and] hedonistic" (Rolling Stone) and "one of the most audacious pop albums of the year" (Uncut)...and those were the positive ones. I guess I'm just worried that she's going more for style than substance. I'm worried she'll be one of those singers who lose 'IT' after leaving the band that made them famous. But, more than anything, I'm worried I need to do more research.

Damn! I knew research was a bad idea...I came across this image on google (click link in title). I pray that those are just padding. At least she left her nose alone. Why must people fall off my pedestals? I've always hated those extreme makeover shows where people get plastic surgery to feel better about themselves. Ahh...but I'm such a hypocrite...

Last week I had two moles removed from the back of my neck. They would always get painfully scraped by the barber's comb, and I guess I've always been a little self-conscious of them. I can't help but feel a little more shallow than I did a couple weeks ago (See?!? Fixing the outside won't fix your inside problems). I guess I shouldn't judge Gwen's motivations too harshly. But I'm still worried her music will start to suck if she doesn't get the band back together. That should be her not suck. It's mine, whenever I want it to be.


  • LOL. Thanks for the giggles. You know what's weird? I'm having a mole removed next month (he's a really busy derm) off my chest area simply for cosmetic reasons. I've been telling myself that it could become cancerous, but in reality I just want to look good in a bikini. I don't want people shouting "MOLE!" like in Austin Powers 3. I'm afraid to tell people because I don't want them to think I'm more shallow than I already come across. I'll just think of you when he sticks me with the needle and makes $1,000 for 15 seconds of "work".

    By Blogger Maria, at Tue Apr 12, 11:34:00 PM 2005  

  • Seriously, what ever to the tight leather pants with the belly shirt Gwen? Remember in that video where she was jumping around all soaked in sweat? That's what I'm talkin' about!

    By Blogger Mike, at Wed Apr 13, 09:36:00 AM 2005  

  • Gwen thinks she's Turning Japanese. Haven't you seen those girls she has with her on the cover of the album? They're her new muses, and, evidently, her new fashion advisors. Stacy and Clinton would have a freaking field day!!!

    By Blogger ORF, at Wed Apr 13, 12:05:00 PM 2005  

  • ohreally,
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    Oh, and where do I get me some muses? Ebay? I am tired of thinking for myself.

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Wed Apr 13, 04:10:00 PM 2005  

  • She really should be on What Not To Wear, OhReally!

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Wed Apr 13, 09:08:00 PM 2005  

  • SS Bob:
    Do you have pets? Perhaps they could be your willing muses?

    I also hear Paris Hilton might be looking for another reality show gig...

    By Blogger ORF, at Thu Apr 14, 12:56:00 PM 2005  

  • I have a dog, but all he encourages me to do is feed him...oh, and kill people. He's like one of those Son of Sam dogs.

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Fri Apr 15, 04:14:00 PM 2005  

  • I also hate when people fall off of the pedestals I put them on, and when women mistake dressing like a ho as self-empowerment. I appreciate your promise to never say the PH word again because your blog seems cool and I'd like to come back!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Apr 16, 04:37:00 PM 2005  

  • While I do not fear for Gwen's future, I am wondering why the sudden exedous of lead singers. I am thrilled that Rob Thomas (of Matchbox Twenty) has a solo album, because I love the man. His lyrics get to me deeper and faster that anyone else. While I love Matchbox Twenty I know Rob will create a worthy solo album.
    Thanks for the great post!!

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