"They're Controlling Our Minds With Flu Shots...I Knew It!"

Fear...it drives the economy. You know, I rememeber the days when the lubricant that ran the Capitalist Machine was the blood of the workers; now our lube of choice is panic sweat. That's right, I said it: Lube of Choice!

Now the big panic, er...economic opportunity, is influenza. Remeber the past few years, when there were shortages of flu vaccine? Well, this year they were plentiful, so of course no one wanted them. Until now. Now that news of three kids dying from flu-related illnesses in the past few days, there has been a MAD rush to have the children get their inoculation on.

The local news has been quick to recognize their responsibility to spread panic. TV ads are asking, "Is there a new supervirus attacking our children?" There are interviews of suburban housewives in tears after learning that their little babies can't get a shot today because the clinic was closing for the day.



Personally, I side with Flanders on the issue of flu shots. As far as I'm concerned, the only reason to get an inoculation is for the sweet, sweet lollipop.

Mmmmmmm....Sweeeet!