It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

"Dude, Videotaping This Crime Spree Is The Best Idea We've Ever Had!"


As a nerd, I have long longed for anti-bully reform in our nation's statutes and school charters. My son, also a nerd (we come from a long line), has encountered the occassional bully, but thankfully only of the teasing type and not the kicking-your-ass type.

I was able to figure out by the tender age of nine that if the schools would just expel bullies, bullying would soon cease to be a problem; at least a problem of the magnitude that it now is. Most incidents of school violence, including Columbine and other school shootings, where students are described as "snapping" or "freaking out" for seemingly no reson can be traced back to bullying.

Now, even Homer Simpson can tell you that bullies can be a clever bunch, but thankfully their cleverness mostly revolves around inventive ways to torture people. And thankfully, we live in an age that treasures media exposure and publicity above all else. And that's how we get this story. Make sure to click on the video link...although girl fights just aren't as exciting with the faces all blurred:(

It's unfortunate to see that the girls were merely suspended rather than expelled, and that the victim chose not to press charges, but I do love the irony of the nerdly invention of the internet being the undoing of these bullies. Louis, Gilbert, and all the rest of the Tri-Lams must be extra proud today.

15 Comments:

  • Ah, here's my anti-bully answer. Start a bully beat up service, where the nerdy can hire goons to take care of their business!

    I'd call it The Meek shall Inherit the Earth, Inc.!

    Hrrmmm, might be a future blog entry for me. . .

    By Blogger Evil Spock, at Tue Jan 16, 10:25:00 PM 2007  

  • What's sad is that these bullies learn it at home most likely.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Jan 17, 07:19:00 AM 2007  

  • evil spock- Hired goons?

    ag- I suspect you're right...I'm sure that as with nerdliness, bulliness runs in families.

    By Blogger Isaac Carmichael, at Wed Jan 17, 12:10:00 PM 2007  

  • The news says they're being charged with attempted assault. Attempted? They seem to be landing some pretty direct hits there.

    (And SSB, I'll save you the trouble: "Attempted murder, now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry?")

    By Blogger Otto Man, at Wed Jan 17, 02:08:00 PM 2007  

  • They showed this clip at the gym (the news was on or something). I was so angry I ran an 5 minutes. I say we find all the bullies and beat the living shit out of them.

    Er, well, that really wouldn't work would it?

    Joking aside- I like this idea of just expelling the bullies- but then what? What will become of them?

    By Blogger Shannon, at Wed Jan 17, 10:46:00 PM 2007  

  • er I ran an extra five mintues...

    By Blogger Shannon, at Wed Jan 17, 10:46:00 PM 2007  

  • Ah Internet.
    Is there anything you CAN'T do?

    By Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Thu Jan 18, 07:12:00 AM 2007  

  • I was just kidding about my hired goons service, kinda . . .

    Shannon brings up a good point; if we expell them, won't they just get worse?

    Today's bullies are tomorrow's thugs.

    By Blogger Evil Spock, at Thu Jan 18, 08:23:00 AM 2007  

  • Is expelling a really great deterrent for bullies, anyhow? Especially if ag's theory is correct and they learn it at home. That being said, although I appreciate the fact that these girls got what was coming to them thanks to the sheer STUPIDITY of them putting it up on the internet, I think it's depressing that they WANTED to put it up and brag, and didn't think of the consequences.

    By Blogger The Doc, at Fri Jan 19, 02:11:00 PM 2007  

  • I wasn't thinking of expulsion as being a deterrent for bullies as I was thinking of thephysical and mental health of the vast majority of students who are not bullies.

    As for what to do with the expelled bullies...I don't know. I suppose there'll be lots of sweatshop positions open after we deport all the illegal aliens...or after Bush disbands OSHA, whichever comes first.

    By Blogger Isaac Carmichael, at Fri Jan 19, 04:46:00 PM 2007  

  • hmm. i think we should round up all the bullies we can find and start promoting bully cage matches :p ala thunderdome. ;D

    I Shall be tina turner. ;D

    By Blogger Knitty Yas, at Sun Jan 21, 03:14:00 PM 2007  

  • I'm a nerd, always have been. BUT I come from a pretty rough and tumble family, so I'm Malcolm in the Middle nerdy - really smart and geeky, but I can kick your ass if I need to. In fact, I served as "The Equalizer" for all the other nerds that I knew. Helpless, innocent people being picked on really pisses me off!

    By Blogger Sylvana, at Mon Jan 22, 09:11:00 PM 2007  

  • Did you catch last night Simpsons? Milhouse had the perfect Bully equalizer!

    By Blogger Evil Spock, at Mon Jan 29, 05:31:00 PM 2007  

  • My favorite setting was "Stop Hitting Yourself!"

    By Blogger Isaac Carmichael, at Mon Jan 29, 08:05:00 PM 2007  

  • I liked the ultimate noogie.

    By Blogger Evil Spock, at Wed Jan 31, 08:46:00 AM 2007  

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