It All Comes Back To The Simpsons: "Drinking, Violence, Destruction Of Property...Are These The Things We Think Of When We Think Of The Irish?"

Friday, March 17, 2006

"Drinking, Violence, Destruction Of Property...Are These The Things We Think Of When We Think Of The Irish?"

Happy St. Patrick's Day! We've come a long way since the first St. Patrick's Day in the U.S., when it was used as a way to gather all the Irish in the center of town for easy beatdowns. In honor of my Irish heritage, I'd just like to say a few things:

26+6=1

UK out of Ireland

Erin Go Bragh!

May the road rise to meet you, may the wind always be at your back and may the good Lord hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Kiss me Blarney Stones, I'm Irish!

And if you aren't wearing green today, here is a virtual pinch >< just for you.

11 Comments:

Isn't there one that goes something like "lord, I pray that you will turn the heart of my enemies. And if you don't turn their hearts, turn their ankles so I'll know them by their limp"

I'm wearing green! no pinchies for ME!

By evilsciencechick, at Fri Mar 17, 10:05:00 AM 2006
Wearing a-bit-o-the-green, indeed.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

It wouldn't be St. Patrick's day if I didn't drag this out.
What's green and sits out in the rain?
Patty-o Furniture.

(she runs for the door before the boos begin to fly)

By pissed off patricia, at Fri Mar 17, 11:00:00 AM 2006
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

By Otto Man, at Fri Mar 17, 12:03:00 PM 2006
A St. Patty's pinch! Nice!

By Anonymous, at Fri Mar 17, 05:25:00 PM 2006
I love your joke otto man

By pissed off patricia, at Sat Mar 18, 08:13:00 AM 2006
ESC- yeah, I've heard that one. You gotta love the Irish sense of humor.

patricia- your jokes will drive me to drinking...you picked a great day to drive me to drinking!

otto man- great joke. Here's one I like because it reminds me of Groundskeeper Willie:
There was this guy who was 1/2 Irish, 1/2 Scottish.
He wanted a drink but he couldn't bring himself to buy one.

ag- you don't get a pinch because of those bitchin' curlers you were wearing.

By Isaac Carmichael, at Sat Mar 18, 11:25:00 AM 2006
Glad you all liked the first one. Here's another, with a Scots-Irish comparison thrown in for Willie:

One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together.

They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.

The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

By Otto Man, at Sat Mar 18, 02:06:00 PM 2006
You're kinda an angry drunk. Hey, just like me.

By Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Mon Mar 20, 07:28:00 AM 2006
A little late, but Happy St. Pat's!

By Neil Shakespeare, at Mon Mar 20, 08:50:00 AM 2006
ya know, i didn't wear any green on st. patty's day, and didn't get pinched. now it's four days later, and i get virtually pinched. thanks alot.

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By Anonymous, at Fri Mar 22, 03:13:00 AM 2013