It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Monday, March 06, 2006

"I'll Be Deep In The Cold, Cold Ground Before I Recognize Missourah!"

I'm sure most of you have heard of the book What's the Matter with Kansas? Well, whatever it is, it's likely infectuous, and habitual Kansas-toucher Misouri is presenting with similar symptoms, such as Bizarre Persecution Syndrome. I think I know why this is happening. As anyone who has driven through states like Kansas and Missouri will know, the never changing landscape of corn and wheat fields and arrow-straight highways can be downright hypnotic. Maybe this makes the citizenry of these states easily susceptible to suggestion. Or it could have something to do with the grand Dumbing Down of America agenda designed to tighten the neo-con stranglehold on our country. Or maybe it has something to do with Branson. But I digress...

Despite the fact that around 85% of American citizens declare themselves to be Christian, the Missouri legislature has found it necessary to introduce a resolution effectively making Christianity the official state religion. Here is the text of the official proposal, complete with generous use of the word "whereas".

While they're at it, maybe they might want to make the official state race Caucasian, the official state gender Male, and the official state party Republican.

Now, as much fun as it is to rag on states like Missouri or Kansas for being backwards, I am deeply saddened by the news that even my beloved blue-state Wisconsin is not immune from the influence of scared, hate-mongering so-called "Christians". On the state ballot in November, voters will vote on whether or not to ban gay marriage. No word yet on whether or not we will be able to vote to ban bigotry...

On Wisconsin Public Radio, I heard one of the proponents of the ban say something to the effect that the Democrats need to stop stalling and allow for a vote, and went on to say that the Democrats are stalling because they know they're on the "wrong side of the issue". Of course, most Wisconsin Democrats were on the "wrong side" of the civil rights issues of the 60's, but I'm sure the irony of that would be lost on supporters of this proposal.

13 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home