"I'll Be Deep In The Cold, Cold Ground Before I Recognize Missourah!"
I'm sure most of you have heard of the book What's the Matter with Kansas? Well, whatever it is, it's likely infectuous, and habitual Kansas-toucher Misouri is presenting with similar symptoms, such as Bizarre Persecution Syndrome. I think I know why this is happening. As anyone who has driven through states like Kansas and Missouri will know, the never changing landscape of corn and wheat fields and arrow-straight highways can be downright hypnotic. Maybe this makes the citizenry of these states easily susceptible to suggestion. Or it could have something to do with the grand Dumbing Down of America agenda designed to tighten the neo-con stranglehold on our country. Or maybe it has something to do with Branson. But I digress...
Despite the fact that around 85% of American citizens declare themselves to be Christian, the Missouri legislature has found it necessary to introduce a resolution effectively making Christianity the official state religion. Here is the text of the official proposal, complete with generous use of the word "whereas".
While they're at it, maybe they might want to make the official state race Caucasian, the official state gender Male, and the official state party Republican.
Now, as much fun as it is to rag on states like Missouri or Kansas for being backwards, I am deeply saddened by the news that even my beloved blue-state Wisconsin is not immune from the influence of scared, hate-mongering so-called "Christians". On the state ballot in November, voters will vote on whether or not to ban gay marriage. No word yet on whether or not we will be able to vote to ban bigotry...
On Wisconsin Public Radio, I heard one of the proponents of the ban say something to the effect that the Democrats need to stop stalling and allow for a vote, and went on to say that the Democrats are stalling because they know they're on the "wrong side of the issue". Of course, most Wisconsin Democrats were on the "wrong side" of the civil rights issues of the 60's, but I'm sure the irony of that would be lost on supporters of this proposal.
Despite the fact that around 85% of American citizens declare themselves to be Christian, the Missouri legislature has found it necessary to introduce a resolution effectively making Christianity the official state religion. Here is the text of the official proposal, complete with generous use of the word "whereas".
While they're at it, maybe they might want to make the official state race Caucasian, the official state gender Male, and the official state party Republican.
Now, as much fun as it is to rag on states like Missouri or Kansas for being backwards, I am deeply saddened by the news that even my beloved blue-state Wisconsin is not immune from the influence of scared, hate-mongering so-called "Christians". On the state ballot in November, voters will vote on whether or not to ban gay marriage. No word yet on whether or not we will be able to vote to ban bigotry...
On Wisconsin Public Radio, I heard one of the proponents of the ban say something to the effect that the Democrats need to stop stalling and allow for a vote, and went on to say that the Democrats are stalling because they know they're on the "wrong side of the issue". Of course, most Wisconsin Democrats were on the "wrong side" of the civil rights issues of the 60's, but I'm sure the irony of that would be lost on supporters of this proposal.
posted by Isaac Carmichael at
8:23 PM
7 Comments:
Fer the love of Buddah! Next thing you know, those fruity Democrats will be coming out for even crazier resultions, like seperation of church and state!
By
Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Tue Mar 07, 07:29:00 AM 2006
I for one welcome the new union of church and state. Remember the last time we had that? What did we call those days? The Dark Ages? Awesome.
In other news, Bob, I hope you're a praying man because tag, you're it. No backsies!
By
Otto Man, at Tue Mar 07, 08:25:00 AM 2006
elizabeth- it saddens me deeply to hear how you became deeply saddened by my choice of words. They weren't my first choice, but they sounded more civil to me than "puppy-kickin' mad".
And yes, my head is a big Simpsons data base of sorts, but I do draw liberally from other resources; I have the first seven seasons on DVD and there are sites run by bigger nerds than I could ever aspire to be who do have some of the scripts typed out.
And I think I'll join a religion that says that Earth gave us life, and then we can spend our time eliminating all traces of earth from the planet.
shamus- Heaven forfend!
doris- thanks for the link, and I hope you're right!
otto man- what with the rising price of heating fuel and natural gas, it'll be nice to have an additional resource, namely witches, to heat our homes with.
By
Isaac Carmichael, at Tue Mar 07, 11:58:00 AM 2006
Y'all should get involved in some local organizations to counter these wingnuts. And get the boy involved too. It's never to early to learn about the political process.
"First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the Communists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out
because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for me
and there was no one left
to speak out for me."
You know that one right?
By
cookie christine, at Tue Mar 07, 02:04:00 PM 2006
"Whereas" I run away screaming...
By
Anonymous, at Tue Mar 07, 07:03:00 PM 2006
cookie Xtine- I like to stand on the corner and yell about how the Man is keeping me down...does that count as political process?
drmax- you might me on to something there...
ag- homophobotards!
By
Isaac Carmichael, at Tue Mar 07, 08:42:00 PM 2006
"the Man keeping you down" sounds vaguely homosexual. You might be greeted by folks offering astroglide. Just sayin'.
By
cookie christine, at Wed Mar 08, 11:06:00 AM 2006
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