"Kryptonite? What's That? The -ite Suffix Suggests A Mineral."
Finally...we can knock that uppity Man of Steel down a peg or two!
Apparently, kryptonite was discovered in a mine in Serbia, which would explain the lack of Superman sightings in the former Yugoslavia. Which is just as well...I mean, how strong do you really need to be to lift a Yugo off of a citizen in distress?
The newly discovered mineral's "scientific" (read: boring) name is sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide, and it's white rather than green. Any possible degenerative properties against beings from the planet Krytpton are unexplored as of this date.
Quite simply, the is the biggest scientific find since the unearthing of the Shroud of Dr. Who. Nerds of the world, rejoice!