It All Comes Back To The Simpsons

Friday, February 10, 2006

"You Have The Right To Remain Sexy."

I was making a phone call from the kitchen, setting up an appointment for a massage for my sweetie (hold for applause...thank you, thank you), when I heard the TV from the living room. Cops was on, and apparently some subject who is considered innocent until proven guilty was resisting arrest on camera.

As I went through the particulars of setting up the appointment, gunfires, sirens and shouting erupted in the background. Then came a dog, barking his head off. Christ, what the poor woman on the other end of the phone must be thinking. Then it got worse.

The cops finally caught the fugitive, and a struggle ensued. Is anyone aware that the sound of cops and fugitives struggling sounds exactly like two (or more) people screwing? Panting and gasping, sceaming "get off me!" and "put your hands where I can see 'em!"

I'm sure the massage lady was relieved when she learned the appointment was for my wife and not me...


  • You should've said you were both coming for a massage, and asked for masseuse who was "cool with that."

    By Blogger Otto Man, at Sat Feb 11, 04:49:00 PM 2006  

  • Cops are hot. I would totally resist arrest just to get some action from a man in uniform.

    By Blogger Maria, at Sat Feb 11, 08:22:00 PM 2006  

  • Funny you should mention that, Otto. Sy wants us to go in for a couples massage. I don't know though...getting touched and rubbed by someone else sort of creeps me out.

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Sat Feb 11, 08:22:00 PM 2006  

  • You should have interacted with the cops show while you were on the phone, like keep saying, "Hold on a second - Mikey! Watch him for weapons! Did you pat him down? I'm sorry, where were we?"

    By Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan, at Sun Feb 12, 11:06:00 AM 2006  

  • Shamus and Otto-where were you guys when I was on the phone?

    Maria-I'm sure there's a 7-11 down the street from your house. Grab a gun (make sure it's unloaded, or better yet, fake), pull some pantyhose over your head, and have at it!

    By Blogger sideshow bob, at Sun Feb 12, 11:57:00 AM 2006  

  • Note to self, "Don't watch cops while making phone calls"

    There's such a thing as "Couples massage?"


    By Blogger Shannon, at Mon Feb 13, 12:38:00 PM 2006  

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