"You Have The Right To Remain Sexy."

I was making a phone call from the kitchen, setting up an appointment for a massage for my sweetie (hold for applause...thank you, thank you), when I heard the TV from the living room. Cops was on, and apparently some subject who is considered innocent until proven guilty was resisting arrest on camera.

As I went through the particulars of setting up the appointment, gunfires, sirens and shouting erupted in the background. Then came a dog, barking his head off. Christ, what the poor woman on the other end of the phone must be thinking. Then it got worse.

The cops finally caught the fugitive, and a struggle ensued. Is anyone aware that the sound of cops and fugitives struggling sounds exactly like two (or more) people screwing? Panting and gasping, sceaming "get off me!" and "put your hands where I can see 'em!"

I'm sure the massage lady was relieved when she learned the appointment was for my wife and not me...