"Yep, That's A Fine Lookin' Grill...Why The Hell Doesn't Mine Look Like That?!?"
Check out the latest outdoor accessory for the phallically inadequate. I think the name of this model is "Hank Hill Leaves His Fugly Wife And Spends The Rest Of His Days In Passionate, If Unholy, Bliss".
I mean Christ, this thing looks like it could eat you if it had a mind to. It's kind of ironic to think about how much food you could buy for starving people with what this monstrosity costs, especially when you take into consideration all the Borgnine-wannabes stuffing their gullets with three inch thick steaks coming off this baby. But for all it's technological decadence, I can't help but notice there aren't any cup holders. Am I to be expected to hold my Kool Aid in my hand like a caveman or something?
Anyway, now you know why all the girls laugh at you and your silly little Weber kettle grill...why not just buy yourself a used Yugo and move back in with mother while you're at it?
Have fun grilling out this weekend! And remember, vets get first pick off the grill!